I promised myself that I would make a blog post every week. Some days I know finding something to write about is going to be hard. Some days it seems like I have 100 topics to write about. So, since I have been drawing a real blank for this week, since I know what next week’s topic is going to be about, I figured I’d write to you about the program I am doing. What has helped and what hasn’t really helped. 

Off the bat, I will say this is basically mind over everything. I didn’t quite understand people when they said it was all a matter of will power. I still don’t. I guess it could be linked to what people assume is will power, for me though, it is a matter of what benefits myself and my body. Before you can understand I should probably explain what I mean. Back before November, I started getting these weird chest pains. I went through a bunch of heart testing, all negative, because I seriously thought I was eating myself to death. I was not making good choices for myself. I also have a lot of influence around myself that don’t make good choices. I used to blame them for my poor eating habit, but now I realize that everyday I have a choice. I started getting these pains and feared that my three children wouldn’t have a mom in a couple a years and that scared me. 

For about three weeks, I went through all of the foods I used to eat and started linking them with a pattern. A lot of unhealthy foods gave me this pain. You guessed it, Gerd. So, when I started to eliminate these foods I started to feel a lot better. I don’t eat pork, red meats, heavy creams, a lot of salad dressings, and a lot of other things. It is kind of what sparked this blog. I figured a lot of other people were dealing with these issues and like myself did research. The only difference is a lot of those people will give up after a month or so of not eating these foods because “it’s unrealistic.” Trust me, I used to tell myself that all the time. It was unrealistic to restrict my diet when I couldn’t eat like that all the time. But, I’ve held on for a few months now and can tell you that the more I keep on myself, the more I feel 100% positive I made the right choice. I started to realize that the food I was eating wasn’t actually worth the pains I would feel. It isn’t about my will power to stay out of the timbits, that are now sitting on my counter. Or say the big macs my dad would bring home for us to enjoy. It was about what makes me feel good and what doesn’t. Those foods don’t make me feel good at all and I avoid them because I feel like I matter.

This sparked linking my new eating habits with losing weight. When you feel better about yourself you try to do better for yourself. I logged all my information through a calorie counting app(you can go into whatever software store you have and download one) and started getting to work. Even to this day, I still log every thing that goes into my mouth. It can be a bit of an inconvenience but I work hard at it. I don’t skip days unless I am sick. When i’m sick all of I end up eating is soup and water anyways. I then added in a HIIT workout(again, you can youtube whatever you’d like) and added lifting weights. Since November, i’m down 20lb total. Likely more since my scale day is next week. I have made great strides in my health, both mental health and physical. I find my depression and anxiety aren’t getting out of hand as much anymore. 

What hasn’t worked for me is crash diets. I have found that I always end up miserable, moody and out of control. That I end up mentally quitting before I am even down the weight. I end up getting a foggy mindset and I am super forgetful. This could be for a lot of other reasons, but doing what I am doing right now has seriously changed the way I feel about losing weight. What also hasn’t worked for me is letting other people have control of my diet and exercise. I found a workout program I could see myself doing every single day for the rest of my life. I didn’t grab a “coach” and talk to them. I tried different programs and I just settled on this program. It is 4 days a week, and I get my weekends off. This is incredibly helpful as I am a single mom and use my weekends to spend time with my children. Giving people who aren’t you more say in what you do only leads you down a rabbit hole for disaster. 

I can say finding something I love, making changes I am okay with(even if at first I am hesitant) has given me more inner strength which is what I believe people link to as will power. I just believe that I matter more than having those special foods matter. Maybe that is what will power does. But, I don’t “sustain” from them. They don’t call to me unless my binge mind appears(totally different topic). I actually look at these foods and just don’t want them or feel the need to have them. I don’t find inner strength to not have them because I just have that interest in them.